"Whiz"iting a "Wee"-enese School

So my friend Sarah is a Fulbright teacher, so I asked her if I could spend the day with her at her school.

I think if I were an Austrian teacher, I would quit immediately. I knew this from the very minute I walked into the building. First, let it be known that the kids clearly wear the pants in this relationship. While students get to stay in their rooms and what not, the teachers have to move from classroom to classroom every period. They are stuck in this claustrophobic teachers room, where they receive 1/2 of a desk for their papers, a swivel chair, and a small half size locker for their belongings. It sounds like a prisoners rations or something. And yet, despite the uncomfortable nature of the room, the teachers managed to spend inordinate amounts of time in there between classes. So much so that their "50 minute classes" were really about 30, when all was said and done.

The crowded teachers room. See those red chairs? You get one...and you share the desk with another teacher.

Teachers lockers.

First period was the worst, I'd say. I walked in to this sort of run down classroom. As I sat down near the front of the class to be near Sarah, I noticed....was it really?...a Megan Fox bikini centerfold hung up on the wall. And there was no commotion over the wall covering, leading me to believe this not some prank or something. The teacher came in about ten minutes late, only to tell us (in a round-about way) that she really hadn't bothered to look at her lesson for the day. Instead, we'd play a "dictionary" game...aka a way to distract the kids while she surfed BBC.com.

Student lockers...even bigger than the teachers'. And clearly more individualized.

The rest of the day, we spent doing one-on-one conversations with students from various classes. In the older class, we worked on interview skills. We pretended to be the hiring manager and they were the prospective employee. The job was stupid: like a tour guide. And EVERY person-when asked what qualifications they had for the job-would say: "I have skill in Microsoft Office." I wanted to be like, "Well, when we have a data entry position available, I will give you a call." But Sarah told me I couldn't.

Recess?

My favorite English-speaking Austrian-isms:

1) "I hope that vee vill speak us soon"- said to me after a mock interview as the girl was leaving.
2) "Say me if..."- translated by Sarah to mean: Tell me if...
3) "Vee vill meet us" or "Vee vill see us"- similar to #1. Austrians apparently love to make everything reflexive.
4) "I play Wolleyball." In response to a question about extracurriculars. I heard "water polo." (This mixing up of the w and v sounds is like quintessential Austrian).


I was also very disappointed to find out that "lunch" is not a period in the day. This meant that I had to go nearly 6 hours without eating. As most of you know, this is quite a feat for me.

And then on the way out, I appreciated the giant condom posters that flanked the exit. As if somehow this school was the warm up before heading home to do the real learning. Anatomy 101, here I come.

And to "wrap things up," a condom advertisement near the exit. This would never fly in America.