It Gets Better: New Hall Edition

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably come across this new viral video campaign: It Gets Better. The campaign all came about after a series of gay suicides late last year prompted the public to finally address gay bullying in schools. A little late if you ask me, but better late than never. The gist is that all these people released statements telling kids across America that no matter what is going on in their life, things will get better.

I really wanted to contribute to this campaign, but realized that homophobia isn't the biggest problem afflicting the New Hall community. No, the biggest forms of bigotry confronting New Hall residents come from the New Hall Nazis and their incessant need to make our dining hours a living hell.

If you are just now tuning into my blog, please rewind to last October when a series of infuriating experiences led me to completely blow up to one of the managers. My two biggest complaints were my inability to get a side salad on a side plate and their reluctance to give me more than 2 packets of ketchup for my chips (french fries). Post blowup, they quickly amended the rule about side salads, which appeased my temporarily.

Fast forward to this semester. I sort of forgot about the ketchup issue and pretty much just adapted my expectations. I changed my ketchup habits and things were pretty good. Then last week, I came into the lunch room to find a surprise waiting for me: A KETCHUP DISPENSER!

SURPRISE!!! (Mayo too!)

And not just a ketchup dispenser, but also one of those "we listened..." bullshit signs that basically had my exact comment card transcribed.

Let it be known: I would have been happy to provide a head shot for this poster. No need to represent me with a light bulb.

"Can we can ketchup and mayonnaise in pump dispensers instead of packets?"

"Yes, no problem. You said it and now we have done it. Please help yourself to ketchup and mayonnaise. Please be careful not to get it on the carpet. Please let us know what you think by completing a customer feedback slip. Enjoy!"

Of course I went to get some ketchup that first day, only to find it completely out of ketchup. I guess I should have been more specific in my request: can we please have a ketchup pump WITH KETCHUP in it.

With any luck, we'll get some ketchup in the building in the next few weeks.

So to anyone at New Hall that is experiencing bullying or bigotry by the New Hall Nazis, I just want you to know, "It gets better!"

It really does get better!