Celebrity Stalking and Kilt Hiring

Dearest bloggeteers,

A whole week without an update! Are you freaking kidding me! You must be ripshit right now. Anyways, let's put the hostility behind us and focus on the future.

Getting together for some BJ love at MaBells. We are newbies, but Steve Haag (far left) has been BJ-ing since 2007!

So if you don't know, I come from Hopkinton, Massachusetts, a pretty small town exactly 26 miles, 385 yards west of Boston. Perhaps you're wonder, "Steve, how do you possibly know the exact distance from your town to Boston?" Well, Hopkinton is famous for quite a few things--Mike Scanlon, Ciao Time (this link is totally worth while because i'm in the video...pretending to be busy "preparing a dessert"), Colellas and Hopnews.com--but its greatest claim to fame is it being the start of the Boston Marathon. So for one day a year, everyone knows where Hopkinton, Massachusetts is.

I feel like the same thing happens with St. Andrews. Once or twice a year, the entire (golfing) world turns its head to St. Andrews. This week is that week (well, i guess earlier this year the British Open was here as well).

I still have no idea who Al is.

I think everyone was out stalking Hugh at this point.

The Dunhill has come to St. Andrews! If you're like me, then you probably have no idea what the Dunhill is. Basically, all you need to know is that celebrities and big time golfers flood the city and go out to bars with the students. Let the stalking begin! My entire weeks plans revolved around the possibility of meeting Hugh Grant, Samuel L. Jackson, or Lee Westwood (if he wins today, he'll overtake Tiger as the number one golfer in the world!, but if not, there's no need to know his name). Unfortunately, no luck on the celebrity stalking front. I did get to see Hugh, Lee and Sam...tee off on Friday morning, from 50m away. But I guess I gotta take what I can get.

I love Hugh!

Friday night was the Opening Ball. A guy from new hall and I hired kilts for the occasion, because real men wear kilts i guess. So I'm used to formal events taking a little over 10 minutes to get ready for. You know, jump in the shower, dry off, put on your pants, shirt, and bow tie. Spritz some cologne on and comb your hair. Easy, in and out. Someone should have prepared me for this kilt business. I knew I was in trouble from the beginning. I took the kilt out of the bag and couldn't even figure out how to unbuckle the thing. There are three different buckles that are in various locations around the waist. So I'm like fiddling with this stupid dress for 10 minutes before I completely give up and go online. Thank GOD for google. Even with my googled instructions, it took me a good 20 minutes to get the outfit on. Needless to say, I was quite late for our pre-Opening Ball get together.

Pretty normal looking, right?

I like it on my kilt.

So scottish! kilt: done and done.

E-M-O-R-Y, that's our eagle battle cry!

After all the build up, the ball was pretty underwhelming. Not much to report.

Oh yeah, I GOT PARENTS!!!! If you're anyone but Katie Sheehan or Kevin Kelly, you are probably like...WTF! Don't worry, despite many good reasons to abandon me, Dave and Leigh are hanging in there with me, atleast for the time being. At St. Andrew's they have this tradition where you get "academic parents." Third (and sometimes fourth years) adopt freshers (and post-graduates in my case) for the year. I think the original purpose for the parents was an academic mentoring program, but over the years it has sort of spiraled into a drinking fraternity/sorority thing...but much more intimate...like five to ten siblings per set of parents. This relationship climaxes (oh the double entendre) on Raisen Weekend with a giant foam fight. Of course there is the natural amount of incest that comes along with family relationships. But you needn't worry, we are a very good family. Are you totally confused? Good, because I am too! I'm sure come Raisen weekend, I'll be able to explain the whole process a lot more thoroughly. So stay tuned for more on that.

Fiona (my academic aunt, left) and Dani (my academic mom) being hipsters.

Dani is my academic mom. She is a fourth year studying geography (haha i totally made that up, i have no idea). She studied abroad last year, so she is trying to make up for lost time by adopting this year. She invited me to hang out last night at the Westport (a very posch bar near the gates of the town). She and a few of my academic aunts (so if you're trying to follow the geneology, these would be the girls who were also adopted by Dani's academic parents when she was a fresher)...oh the complexity. We hung out at the bar for a couple hours before heading to a hipster themed party for the night. I attempted at hipster dress, but I don't think I'm very hip. But Dani...Dani's hip. Then we went to fireworks at the Old Course to celebrate the last day of the Dunhill!!! And we went to the world's best fish and chips shop of 2008-09. But it ain't no thang.

What's the deal with being a tourist and feeling the need to take pictures of yourself with inanimate statues.

You'd think that the best fish and chips in the world would look a little more appetizing.